Lovely Little Building Blocks
By J. Hunter
The very first building block she ever got was on her second birthday.
It didn’t really mean anything then,
it was just a signifier
of her survival, beating the odds simply by living past infancy
a good sign as any of a decent future.
Her second block came to her with her first loose tooth.
She was scared when her daddy
told her they had to pull it out,
scared that it would hurt when he slammed that door.
Her daddy told her that it wouldn’t, but
She figured he lied because it hurt a little.
She didn’t cry though, her daddy said
losing a tooth made her a big girl.
And big girls didn’t cry
Her next three blocks came with her to her first day of school.
She was worried, she had never been away from her parents
for this long, and this new lady was weird.
She wanted to go home to her mommy and daddy.
But Mommy told her that she had to be brave
and play with the other kids. So she did.
When she went home, she decided that
Maybe school wasn’t so bad.
She got five blocks the day her period first came.
She was 12 and hadn’t yet heard the puberty talk in school.
She went home early that day,
her mom picked her up from school
when a teacher said she had blood on her pants.
She laid in bed the rest of the day,
the ghosts of cramps gracing her belly well into the night.
Ten whole blocks were given to her at her first job.
She was so excited to start working
at the little coffee shop in her town.
She showed up early, paid attention to who trained her,
and learned very quickly that some customers
didn’t care if you were 14 or 40.
As she walked home, her first paycheck
clutched delicately in her small hands, she learned
that just like the customers in her little coffee shop,
She also didn’t care about their harsh words.
She got 5 more blocks later that day.
She graduated high school and gained blocks
she didn’t bother to count. There were almost too many
to carry in her arms, and she didn’t remember them
being this small. Or this light. She wouldn’t hold
onto them for a little while longer.
She stood in the designated parking lot for incoming students,
her bags cradled in her hands as she looked at the dorms
she’d be moving into that day. In the background, she heard
Her parents sniffles, heard them lament how their little girl
Has grown up into a young woman. A foundation has been built
for her building blocks, and now the only thing left
to do was to put them together.
She didn’t want to let go. These were her blocks.
She earned them, her lovely little building blocks.
Why did she need to put them down?
All her life these blocks were her accomplishments, the true
markers of her progress as a person.
Why did she need to move up in life,
when her whole life was down here?
She looked up to that new place, a platform
she needed to reach but couldn't without those blocks.
She imagined what could be up there waiting for her.
Dreams of a degree she earned and a house
she owned danced in her mind. Dreams of gardens
and running children tempted her further.
She wanted those dreams even more than her blocks.
Wanted that new life even more
than her precious blocks.
So with shaking hands and a firm resolve, she placed
her blocks down one by one. Her blocks built
a staircase, a winding and wobbly construction designed
to carry her weight. Each block made it
stronger
higher
pushed her closer and closer to the next stage of her life
until all she had left was her first block.
The insignificant block from her second birthday.
She held it, cradled it and whispered it goodbye.
A final thanks for always being there for her,
a kiss to send it off, before placing the block
at the top of her staircase. She reached the stage
she turned around to the staircase of memories and lessons that
carried her through her life. She gave it a friendly wave
and a promise to visit, before walking away from those
Lovely Little Building Blocks.