Is It Just Me?

By Daniela Saenz-Quintana

In recent years, diversity has been a hot topic in professional and academic environments. As a Latina student, I sat in meetings with Deans and Vice Presidents, asking me what they could do to better support students in my community. I walked through the library on campus and saw vision boards of what the future of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion will look like. But amid these plans, I often wondered about their true intentions. Are these plans performative activism or is change actually taking place?

I attended two Predominantly White Institutions during my time in college. While my experience has been positive, I have had moments where I sit in spaces thinking, “is it just me?” Am I the only Person of Color (PoC) in this room? Am I the only person who feels uneasy about that comment? Through conversations with other PoCs, I learned that many of us consider these uncomfortable moments inevitable and as another part of our college experience.

I often think about generations of PoC who dreamt of attending college but were barred access. I also think about future generations of students and my hopes for them to pursue an education without ever feeling like an outsider. I firmly believe that change cannot happen without speaking openly about the problem. So let's talk about it. Why is diversity so important in higher education? What is it like being a PoC at a PWI?

What is a PWI? Why does it matter?

Predominantly White Institutions are places of higher education with 50% or more enrollment of White students. These institutions dominate higher education. Our very own Stephens College is a PWI. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, in the Fall of 2022, 66% of our student body was White. The rest of our student body identifies as follows:

  • 10% Black or African American

  • 10% Two or more races

  • 5% Race/ethnicity unknown

  • 3% Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander

  • 2% Hispanic/Latino*

  • 1% Asian

You may be thinking to yourself, “Why does this even matter? Stephens College is a small private school in the middle of Missouri. Of course it’s going to be primarily White.” I say to you, “of course it matters.” In a space intended to enrich our lives with education, it is crucial to have perspectives from students, faculty and staff of all different backgrounds, races, sexual orientations and beliefs. Being around people who challenge our viewpoint of the world makes us more compassionate and kind human beings. The world desperately needs people who care for others and are not like themselves. Change begins with education and it is time that we all learn to leave our echo chamber.

Getting to a PWI

When writing this blog, I reflected on my experience as a Latina Woman who has attended two PWIs in her college career. Furthermore, I invited fourth-year fashion communication major Ryann Jenkins-LeFlore and third-year creative writing major Jordan Davis to reflect on and discuss their experiences being Black women at Stephens College. All of us have had different experiences. It is important to take into account that every student is different.

Like all college students, Students of Color begin their admissions process by weighing their options. Some look for schools that offer a preferred major, what they can afford and what they could gain from that college experience. I was looking for an affordable school that allowed me to study Fashion, leading me to Johnson County Community College. Diversity was never something I considered before enrolling. The first time I stepped on campus, I was shocked. Coming from a school with 70% minority enrollment to suddenly being in my first predominantly White space, I felt like an alien arriving on Earth and trying to blend in. I wondered if I even deserved to be there. Luckily, I became heavily involved with a Latino* student organization that provided me with a community that understood me and shared my struggles. When it came time to transfer schools, diversity became an item high on my list of priorities. I almost didn’t attend Stephens, fearing feeling like an outsider again.

However, this isn’t the case for all students. Jordan Davis talks about never considering diversity before choosing Stephens. Davis shares that in high school, she was surrounded by White Students and Educators. She was accustomed to being in predominantly White spaces. Ryann Jenkins-LeFlore, on the other hand, stated that she wasn’t interested in attending a Historically Black College or University because of her major. However, she was interested in how she would have support as a Black student. Before attending Stephens, Jenkins-LeFlore reached out to a Black student attending Stephens to hear her experience first-hand. Jordan and Ryann both said that they didn’t experience culture shock because of their backgrounds, both having previously attended Predominantly White schools.

Existing as a PoC at a PWI

Being a PoC in a White space can mean changing the way you act to better fit in, or thinking about things your White peers may not consider. For Jordan Davis, being in a White space impacts her relationship with her body image, specifically her hair. She opened up about how she does not like wearing her hair in its natural curls and finds herself straightening it to feel more comfortable. She is working on her relationship with her hair but always being surrounded by White people has made her feel like she doesn’t fit the beauty standard. Davis also spoke about how she finds herself thinking about her racial identity when it comes to dating in Columbia. She wonders how she would be treated if she were White.

When asked about how she thinks about her racial identity on a day to day basis, Ryann Jenkins-LeFlore shares how she is lucky. She hasn’t found herself in situations that force her to actively think about her race. When she is entering a new space, she does think about how she will be received. “Recently, with graduating and stuff, I’ve thought about it a lot because of areas I may want to move to. I have to consider those things. Before I went abroad last semester, one of my bigger concerns was like, ‘how is London with accepting people?’ I think of it more with the spaces I am entering or am about to put myself in.” Jordan shared a similar sentiment talking about how she thinks about her race when she is driving to Columbia. The Trump signs and Confederate flags make you feel like you are in a space where you don’t belong.

When Jordan mentioned this, I found myself relating to this experience. I acknowledge my privilege. I am fair-skinned and don’t look like what most people stereotype Mexican women to look like, but when I am driving to Columbia I find myself aware of the areas I am driving through. I always pump gas in Kansas City or in Columbia because I’m scared to stop anywhere in between. I don’t want to accidentally make myself a target by stopping somewhere I am not welcome.

Constantly having to consider how you will be received is a common experience for PoC and can cause self-doubt and anxiety. Ryann shares how recently she has felt that she has to walk on eggshells when speaking to people. Initially, she wondered if people were misreading her tone or misinterpreting her direct nature as a push for a fight. The more it has happened, the more she believes that people’s unconscious bias may be causing them to view her as an angry Black woman. Ryann is Editor-In-Chief of Stephens Life and president of Black Women Enlightened. Her positions of power may have to do with these recent misunderstandings. People may be unconsciously uncomfortable with seeing a Black woman in a position of power being assertive and taking charge.

People of Color have a history of having to take responsibility for how White people interpret their words and actions. Even as I write this blog, I find myself considering every word I type. I don’t want to come off as whiny or like I have a chip on my shoulder. I don’t want my message to be lost if someone reads my thoughts as a series of complaints.

Support

Just like anyone else, PoC need appropriate support to be successful in college. This support needs to come from affinity organizations, other students and from the institution. Ryann shared how she felt lucky to have received support from the fashion professors who always protect their students. She also credited BWE with being a great source of support, throwing herself into the group since freshman year gave her a safe space on campus. Jordan is also a member of BWE and having that space has also had an impact on her. “It’s great being in that community and having people to talk to, knowing what stays in the room stays in the room. If I have a problem with a student, like if I experience a microaggression inside or outside of campus, I have people who are willing to listen, who can give their perspective and who can reassure me in my Blackness and give me room to grow.” Organizations like BWE are crucial for the success of Students of Color at PWIs because when you are the minority in a space it is nice to go somewhere where you are understood.

As for the institution, there is room to grow. Students share how they don’t always feel heard or protected by administration. Stephens is vocal about how they want to protect their Queer and PoC students but when issues arise, they are not always addressed. This is a common issue colleges and universities have. Places of higher education love promoting diversity until it comes time to listen to the struggles their underrepresented students face. This can leave a bad taste in students' mouths because they know that if something were to happen to them, the problem would not be handled appropriately.

How can educators better support Students of Color?

Hire more diverse faculty and staff - It is important for students to have people they can turn to who understand their experiences and are in the position to educate and advocate for their students.

Offer more opportunities to learn about PoC - The history and accomplishments of PoC are often forgotten in education. Offering these learning opportunities can benefit both White students and Students of Color. These educational opportunities can be embedded into a curriculum or can be offered in the form of classes. Education is a proactive way to protect students.

Listen and validate - When students go to their institution with an issue, it is because they feel strongly enough about it to seek out help. Don’t sweep things under the rug. Understand that you may not be familiar with all the struggles PoC face, but you can ask students how to give them appropriate support and follow through with a plan of action.

How can White peers support PoC?

Offer your support and attention - As a White student, you can support the projects of Students of Color by asking how you can help. This can be as simple as sharing a post on social media or attending an event.

Ask questions - If there is something that you don’t understand, it is okay to ask genuine questions. Make sure that your questions are not dehumanizing and appropriate for the time and place. Most PoC are happy to share their perspective and experience if you are being genuine and willing to listen.

Be aware of your unconscious bias - You may be in full support of minority students but we all have unconscious bias. Don’t put it past yourself to make a mistake, and if you do, listen. Listening and amplifying voices of PoC is one of the most powerful things you can do. Acknowledge that you hold certain privileges so that you can use your voice to make a difference.

A Message for Students of Color

Entering a PWI as a Student of Color can be intimidating and difficult. I asked Ryann and Jordan what advice they would give to a PoC starting a PWI. Ryann said, “Be aware that you may encounter things that do make you uncomfortable but you also have a community to turn to such as BWE. Immerse yourself in people that look like you and spaces that look like you so you have a place to turn to in the event that something happens.” Jordan reassures students saying, “You are worthy and, at times, if you feel inadequate to your peers, you’re not and it’s not your fault people have preconceived notions of who are as a Person of Color.” Remember that you are not alone. We’re all learning and doing this together. You are making a difference by simply existing in these spaces. Keep going.

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