The Shadow Self

By Emmalee Djerf

What is the shadow self?

Do you have a side of yourself that you hide from everyone? A side that feels dejected and misunderstood. A side that brings jealousy, doubt, insecurity, self-destruction, and anger? This is called your “shadow self” and is referred to as our "deepest wounds" by psychologist Carl Jung who popularized the concept. 'Shadow self' is an idea that we all have parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of because family, friends, or society conditioned us to push these aspects of ourselves down instead of fully processing or embracing them. Keeping your shadow hidden is a form of oppression that can thoroughly wreck your mental state. "Shadow work" is the process of exploring your inner demons, your most troubling thoughts, and your deepest darkest secrets. While the journey towards self-discovery and self-care can be challenging, it is also a necessary step towards living a fulfilling and meaningful life. With courage, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable, you can navigate the twists and turns of this journey and emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate than ever before.

Benefits of Shadow Work

"Shadow work"' is an essential aspect of personal development that can bring a wide range of benefits. One of the most significant advantages of this form of self-care is that it helps you achieve a sense of wholeness. When you take care of yourself, you not only meet your physical needs but also your emotional, social, and spiritual needs. This can help you feel more grounded and centered, which can, in turn, help you navigate life's challenges with greater ease. Another benefit is improvement in your interactions and relationships with others. When well-cared for, you are more likely to have the energy and capacity to be present with others, listen actively, and respond thoughtfully. You may also find that you are better at setting boundaries and communicating your needs effectively, which can help you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. This can also be a powerful tool for healing generational or ancestral trauma. Many of us carry wounds and behaviors passed down through generations. "Shadow work" can help break these cycles. By engaging in practices that support your physical, emotional, and overall well-being, you can begin to release old trauma and patterns and create new, healthier ways of being, which might help you better identify your needs and find ways to meet them that are sustainable and life-affirming, in the end, helping you avoid harmful coping mechanisms and instead develop a set of tools that support you long term, leading to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

When can you start healing your shadow?

To begin the process of healing your shadow self, you do not require any specific time or place. All that is needed is an unguarded heart and some way to journal your thoughts whether it’s on paper, your phone, or a Google Doc. Every little bit counts. However, it is important to note that shadow work and self-healing is a journey that varies for everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another. Therefore, it is crucial to explore different methods and practices, finding what resonates with you. While journaling is an excellent way to start, keep in mind that there is a lot more work that goes into healing your shadow self. It is a process that requires patience, persistence, and self-compassion.

Prompts Ideas

What does self-love mean to me?

 Where do I feel the safest and most loved?

If I could write letters to the people who hurt me the most, what would I say?

Who am I versus who am I telling myself to be? 

List everything you hate about yourself. Now ask who made you feel this way. Alternatively, why do you feel this way?

What is the biggest lie that you consistently tell yourself?

How do others describe you? How do you describe yourself?

What expectations do you project onto yourself and others?

If you could create/change anything in your life. What would it be?

What’s holding you back?