We Should Do This Again

By Madison Marlow

Adulthood, where making friends is like navigating a never-ending maze. At 26, I can say that it doesn’t get easier. The fear of rejection, the self-doubt and the chronic struggle to find some common ground can make one feel like an awkward newborn giraffe learning to walk. But have no fear. Beneath those many layers of vulnerability lies the desperate need for connection, even if it means opening yourself up for humiliation. 

Grieving Old Friendships

Doesn’t life have a bit of a cruel sense of humor? When we think we’ve found our people, situations change and opportunities come up elsewhere, new routines take shape. We realize that as life moves on for us, there isn’t room for those friendships anymore. They dissolve like sugar in water. It’s grief akin to mourning a pet rock—inexplicable yet profound. Our pet rock gets lost in the move, left, forgotten or outgrown. The realization comes when we pick up our phone to rant or tell them big news, but realize it might be weird to call at this point because that connection is no longer there. 

But, within the emotional wreckage, confusion and slow realizations, we find the resilience to move on, the knowledge that the strongest of friendships can fall apart under the weight of adulthood. 

Finding Time in the Chaos

The circle of adulthood, where time is a rare and guarded commodity. Socializing feels like corporal punishment. Adulthood comes with the lesson of learning what our time is worth and what’s worth giving it up for. But when we find those special connections, a brunch date on a busy day? Let’s do it. A late-night phone call amidst the chaos? Absolutely. When finding time for those worth our time, you can bet your firstborn that we will find time for those connections. No matter how stressed and sleep-deprived we are. 

A Personal Anecdote

Picture this: I’m a 26-year-old college student, feeling a little lost and isolated in this new town at a new school. Within the uncertainty, I find solace in my roommate. She’s not just someone to share an apartment with, she’s someone who gets me. And through our inside jokes and silent conversations in class with our eyes, the loneliness fades and a sense of belonging starts to form. 

I still can’t help but feel like an outsider looking in at the friendships that formed years ago over shared experiences. A sense of jealousy forms over their connections that I can’t help. The isolation starts to creep in, but then in the very class I’m writing this blog for, there’s a glimmer of hope. A new face, a kindred spirit. We start with small talk and gradually evolve into long venting sessions in the car and exchanges of unhinged posts on Instagram. 

And then it hit me: this is the lifeline I needed. I find someone who understands in a way that feels like magic, like stumbling upon a unicorn in a herd of donkeys–rare, and slightly absurd. Together, the three of us navigate the ups and downs, supporting each other through the challenges and victories. They become confidantes and partners in crime.

I can’t leave out the soul sister I found on a school trip to Las Vegas. Outwardly the opposite, one quiet and the other as vibrant as the Vegas Strip. No matter the time, she’s cheering me on from across the country, just as I am for her. Always, just a text away when I need words of encouragement or advice. 

So, when those connections click, it’s like magic. They’re the ones who laugh at your terrible jokes, wipe away your tears and remind you that you’re not alone in this great big world. They’re the silver lining in the storm of clouds of adulthood – rare, precious and worth their weight (and more) in gold. 

Practical Tips for Finding Friends

If you’re on a quest for friendship, remember this: embrace your inner weirdo, seek out and open yourself up to like-minded souls and don’t be afraid, even if it means facing rejection. And when you find someone who speaks your special language, hold on tight and never let go. True friendships are as rare as a sober clown at a birthday party. 

A Celebration of Friendship

In the grand scheme of life, friendships are the threads that hold us together. They’re the glue that mends our broken pieces and the light in the darkness. So, let’s raise a glass to the emotional rollercoaster called friendship – messy, complicated and utterly indispensable. Cheers to embracing new people, navigating the maze with courage and grace, and holding onto those that make our hearts feel full. In the end, it’s not about the number of friends we have, but the depth of the connections we cultivate.

A Special Thank You

To the friends I’ve made along the way— thank you. Thank you for finding me and helping me open up to new things. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for choosing me. Thank you for the countless laughs, the cathartic venting sessions, the unwavering support and for simply being the incredible women that you are. 

If there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s this: you’re stuck with me. Through the ups and downs, the highs and lows, I’ll always be there for you, cheering you on, lifting you up and celebrating every milestone along the way. 

Remember this: 

You are never alone on your quest for friendship. It’s easy to feel like we’re navigating solo, but the truth is, there are countless others seeking connection just like you. Embrace the chaos and trust that the right people will find their way to you. 

Remember to cherish the moments, big and small. From spontaneous adventures to quiet nights in. Never underestimate the power of sitting in the car with a friend with the engine idling and music playing while you pour out your heart and soul. Adulting can pause for moments like this. 

You may find yourself saying these words: “We should do this again.” And this time, you might just mean it.